When I was struggling to write, in the mid-2000s, I found a writing coach. I could tell he would be able to help me where so many other people and approaches had failed.
There was just one problem: he charged A LOT more than I had ever spent.
The amount scared me. I didn’t think I could do it.
My boyfriend at the time wasn’t hearing it. “You have to do this,” he said. “You are going to work with this guy–even if you have to take out a home equity loan to do it.”
His words had a big effect on me. As a child of first-generation immigrants who scrimped and saved, it was foreign and scary to me to take out a loan out to pay for creativity. (“Borrowing against your home! How irresponsible!” the immigrant voices inside me shrilled.)
But my boyfriend said, “You’ll make it back. You’ll pay it off. You HAVE to work with this guy because you HAVE to break your block and write.”
He was so serious and so certain–it really got me. I recognized: he was right. I DID have to do this. My soul required it.
(I don’t mean ‘I was broken and this coach could fix me, so I had no choice.’ What I mean is, there are some things so important to us, so core to who we are, that we MUST fulfill them. Writing was that for me. Whatever it took to get me writing again, I would do.)
So I took a deep breath and chose: I would work with this coach.
As it turned out, I didn’t have to take out a home equity loan. Once I made the choice, I found it much easier to pay for than I had expected.
(Side note: In the intervening years, I’ve found this phenomenon to hold true again and again, for me and for clients: once you CHOOSE and COMMIT, the way opens.
Corollary truth: The way does NOT come from thinking, “I’ll save up and try to make more, and if I have the money, I’ll do it.”
Decision and commitment open your eyes to new opportunity (and sources of money). Excessive caution and hanging back focus your eyes on lack of money–and that perpetuates more of the same.)
This is key: The WILLINGNESS to do what it took opened the way. The willingness to do the scary thing I would never have considered before. The willingness to listen past the fear… to my soul’s imperative. And the willingness to make that bold commitment with my emotions and my money.
Yes, I DID break my writer’s block then. And what that did for my self-esteem is beyond words.
I was flying. Triumphant. Powerful.
Also, much more simply: I was capable. I believed in myself again.
And that is priceless.
P.S. As a side note, the results were priceless, AND there was money. 🙂 Within a few years, using the same power of commitment and choice, I also tripled my income–but that’s a topic for another post.
P.P.S. If you recognize the feeling of I MUST DO WHAT IT TAKES,” let’s talk. That is a message from your soul. Something in you is calling for you to break through your block–and to do it now.
I’m offering a new 1:1 program called TRUE CREATIVE SUCCESS. It’s designed specifically to help you break through what’s been holding you back for years, so you can do your TRUE creative work and take a DRAMATIC leap in your career and income. This is a program for talented, ambitious creative people who will do what it takes. Email me now to find out more.