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The power of YOU, living full out

(Not perfect, but WILLING)

Last week I wrote about the insecurities that came up for me when I went to a Princeton alumnae conference.

At the same time, I was inspired. As I watched these Princeton women perform with soul and passion, I was reminded how powerful it is to put ourselves out in the world, full out.

 

And, I realized all the ways I’ve held back.

Now, I’m GOOD about facing my fears. To help creative people get big results, I HAVE TO face and transform big blocks–constantly.

I hold my clients through big fears, and they transform it. I see what holds me back, and I transform it.

And yet.

And yet so many times, I have still held back for fear I won’t be good enough.

I don’t want to fail, and I don’t want people to see me fail.

But, as I watched the women perform, I felt the power of passion and boldness.

They weren’t perfect. They were willing.

Willing to step on stage and put their energy out into the world, BIG. Willing to step out in life, BIG.

The same is possible for each of us.

If you’re afraid, if you’re holding back, if you’re thinking “I’m not good enough” or “What if I fail?”, remember this:

There is power in who you are. There is such power in being ALL of who you are. Bold. Proud. Out loud.

Let’s do it.

 

P.S. If you’re ready to stop holding back and unleash your creativity, get in touch. I have a new program to help you step out BIG, doing your truest, most powerful creative work.  

This is a high-level program for ambitious creative people who are committed to big results. If that’s you, hit “reply” and let’s talk.

When insecurities come up, remember this

Today I’m at She Roars, a conference for Princeton alumna. Events like these–like college reunions–can bring up my old achievement-based insecurities: Have I accomplished enough? Am I successful enough? How do I “measure up”?

Our egos may worry about whether we’’ll fail or what someone else thinks of us. Our egos may trap us in a stew of “I’m not good enough” or a judgmental cloud of “I’m better than s/he is.”

But, focusing on those things keeps us from connecting with the important questions:

What is delighting and inspiring me in this moment?

What is moving me?

Who am I connecting with?

What is my divine wisdom telling me?

When fear comes up, give yourself love. Then stay connected to the Real You, and be yourself in the world.

Courage in this moment

Yesterday, millions of us saw Dr. Blasey Ford testify. As I watch my Facebook feed, I see person after person speaking up.
 
And it reminds me: Courage and action DO change the world.
 
Even though she was originally afraid to come forward, even though she had to deal with death threats and move her family for safety, Dr. Blasey Ford spoke her truth.
 
Through her courage, she laid bare the ugliness and pervasiveness of a culture that looks at men pressuring women for sex and says, “Boys will be boys” or “All men do that.” She inspired millions of women and men to say, “No, that is not okay” and “This is not the world we want for our daughters and sons.”
 
Maybe Brett Kavanaugh will still get confirmed. Maybe not.
 
Whatever happens, this is a moment that will change history. This is a moment where we CAN and MUST change history.
 
In 1992, after the Anita Hill hearings, there was an electoral wave that tripled the number of female senators (going from two to seven), increased the number of women in the House by 60% (from 30 to 48), and inspired hundreds of women to run for offices, from state legislatures to school boards. TIME called it “The Year of the Woman.”
 
We can bring another wave this year. (Three ways you can get involved at the end of this post.)
 
And, if you are feeling traumatized by these events, take care of yourself. Find community and care and support. Give yourself tenderness and love.
 
Then when you can, in ways big or small, speak and act with courage. Bring YOUR truth into the world–in your actions, in your conversations, and in your creativity.
 
BEYOND ELECTORAL POLITICS
In every area, our truth and courage make a difference. A couple years ago, I worked with a client who was courageously bringing a new view of cancer into the world. Another previous client is telling the stories of death row inmates who are likely innocent. Other clients are helping people connect with the life stories behind the objects in their home, educating people about safe and healthy cosmetics, or using comedy to advance gender equality.
 
What have you been afraid to say or do? What creative work have you been holding back?
 
These times can be difficult. But we have each other, and we have ourselves. The world is asking for our voices in this moment.
 
Be the voice of creative change in the world.
 
~~ Get support ~~
If you’re struggling to process a memory of sexual violence, you can reach out for help by phone to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network at 1-800-656-4673 or over text message to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 (on almost all carriers, these texts are free).
 
~~ Three ways you can make a difference (political) ~~
1) Take back the House: https://swingleft.org/
 
 
3) Elect more women: https://www.emilyslist.org/
 
~~ One way you can make a difference (personal) ~~
Choose courage over fear. Choose to bring your truest creative work into the world.
 
Yes, you might be afraid of people’s reactions. You might be afraid of failure or judgment or ridicule.
 
But truth has power, and your true creative voice will make a difference in the world.
 
You will be more powerful, more fulfilled, and more alive–and the world will be better for your work.

 

Is this common belief keeping you stuck? (plus, how to get past it)

Sometimes people say they can’t join a coaching program because of timing conflicts. They can’t see a way around it.

I get it. When family obligations, a demanding job, or other commitments are there, it can seem like there’s a conflict, pure and simple, with no way out.

Here’s what I also know: The thing that stops you from joining a coaching program also stops you in other areas of your life. It may be timing, money, fear or something else that stops you. Whatever it is, that same thing will stop you in many other areas of your life.

“I can’t find a way” and “this is just how it is” are like the air you breathe. They seem like a simple fact. (But air isn’t as simple and straightforward as it appears–it can be bottled to let people breathe underwater, it can support planes in the air, it can be split into its component parts to make oxygen for sick people… it can contain radio waves and invisible gases and high frequency sounds beyond the range of our hearing.)

When you see air as “just air,” you will not see what else is there or what else is possible. When you say about a situation,“This is just how it is. There are no options. I can’t find a way,” you will literally NOT SEE the options that exist.

Even though limitations may SEEM real, they are not the TRUTH.

 

The truth is, you are a powerful and creative human being.

If you have a desire, the way is there. Accepting this is the key to creating the life you want.

And here’s how you find the way: Commit FIRST. Then open yourself to receive the way.

(Most of us instinctively ask HOW we can get to a goal–and if we don’t see how, we deflate and lose hope. We decide we can’t have it.)

When you COMMIT FIRST, you let go of the “can’t find a way” belief that blinds you to possibilities.

That allows you to take other steps–brainstorming possibilities, “downloading” divine guidance, letting go of internal obstacles, taking action, opening to receive, and more.

Sometimes the solution comes easily. A client in my program overcame her belief that “I can’t have it,” spoke her supervisor about some time off and got it–easy as that.

Other times you’ll make more effort. I have seen people do powerful things to handle logistical obstacles. I once used almost a third of my vacation days just to be in a program. I have Skyped in for three-day retreats just weeks after giving birth. I have traveled solo on 12-hour plane trips with a baby and hired babysitters in three different cities to get the transformation I wanted. I have gotten a clogged duct and been top-off, half-naked nursing a baby in 360-degree positions while Skyping into a retreat from a hotel room (AFTER flying cross-country to be there live). I have driven six hours two or three times a year for ten years, often with a child or my whole family in tow, to go to transformational retreats that would change my life.

I’m not alone in this: I know people who have stayed up for 2:30 am calls so they could be in the program they wanted, or flown to California from Europe or Australia for multiple live retreats. A colleague brought her son from Australia to Oregon for a ONE-DAY retreat (she made a vacation of it). I know people who have flown cross-country, multiple times a year, year after year (and no, they weren’t all rich; many had incomes less than the US average) because they were willing to do what it would take to get the results they wanted in life.

The question for you is, are you willing to commit to what you want in life? Are you willing to let go of the illusion that there “there is no way”?

It may come easily, or it may come with effort. You won’t know until you step in.

But the first step–saying YES, I CAN and committing to have it–is the foundation of everything.

This works. I’ve used this approach to create a career as a writer–despite being a scared immigrant girl who didn’t know any writers (and whose parents encouraged her to get a “secure job” as doctor or government worker).

I’ve used this approach to live abroad, travel in Asia and Europe, buy an apartment, buy a house, make money in real estate, land a six-figure job during the height of the financial crisis, launch a successful writing business, find and marry an amazing man, have two children after turning 40, work from home while being a mom, and more.

Clients have used this approach to find agents, get published regularly in The New Yorker, start six-figure creative businesses, double their income, get featured in major film festivals, and more.

Doing your true creative work. Creating the life you want. It all begins with saying, “Yes, I can.”

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. What will you say YES to today? If it’s your creative work, get in touch. I’ve put together a program designed to help you do your TRUE creative work and finally have the CREATIVE SUCCESS you’ve been longing for. You’ll move past your blocks… uncover your truest, best creative work… and discover the unseen opportunities already in your world… so you can take a dramatic leap in your creative career.

This is a high-level program for ambitious creative people who are committed to big results. If that’s you, hit “reply” and let’s talk.

The one question you MUST ask to do your best creative work

Years ago, I was writing a political novel. And certain scenes were excruciating to write. I was so bored I had to force myself to write them. As I wrote, I felt incredibly sorry for my MFA classmates who would be reading it. “Wow,” I thought. “This is so boring and awful for me to write–these poor people who have to read it!”

And then suddenly I had a huge realization: I was writing a book I THOUGHT I should want to read (a thoughtful literary and political novel), not a book I would ACTUALLY want to read.

The thing is, it’s very easy to fall into this trap. All through our culture, there are signs telling us what’s “good.” Critics’ reviews. Best seller lists. Awards. Commentators on shows. Teachers and professors. People whose opinion we respect.

If a book or film, exhibition or performance is critically well-received or wildly popular, there’s a chance you will actually enjoy it. So it’s easy to just categorize it as “good” without thinking too much.

Sometimes that transfers over into our own creative work. We start making something, and we try to make it good, while unconsciously basing our standards on what other people have said.

The real question I should have asked was not “Is this good?” but “Am I writing the book I’ve been unconsciously searching for every time I go into a bookstore?”

The perfect book… the book that would pull me in with its story, fascinate me with its characters, transport me with its observations, move me with its scenes. The book I was longing for.

So that is the book I began to write. I followed my desires, and a magical realist plotline emerged, interweaving with my original political novel. And I was enthralled as I wrote, channeling inspiration and wonder, amazed with what I was creating and the experience of creating it.

This is the question: “Are you creating something you’ve been searching and longing for?”

If you’re not, then chances are, you’re creating something based on someone else’s expectations. That’s not a terrible thing: the world is full of perfectly enjoyable copycat work (think of all those money-making sequels and remakes).

But, powerful original work can only come from YOU. Your soul, your quirks, your experiences and wounds and desires. Your creative longing.

Write the book you’ve been dying to read. The film you’ve been aching to find. Make the art you wish you could see.

These are the unexpected bestsellers that change the landscape–the critical successes everyone else will copy for years.

So if you want to do your truest, best creative work–and love the experience of doing it–   follow your unmet desire: Do the creative work you’ve been longing to find.

 

P.S. I’ve put together a program designed to help you do your TRUE creative work and finally go for the CREATIVE SUCCESS you’ve been longing for. You’ll move past your blocks… uncover your truest, best creative work… and DO the creative work you’ve been longing to do. (And, you’ll also discover the unseen opportunities already in your world so you can take a dramatic leap in your creative career.)

This is a high-level program for ambitious creative people who are ready for big results. If that’s you, email me and let’s talk.