Live Your Joyfull Path
Live Your Joyfull Path

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Use these mantras to create your JoyFULL life!

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Why it’s hard to do it

shutterstock_336184877Yes, IT can be hard. (What is IT? Moving toward your big vision, of course. That thing you dream about constantly, that purpose that you’re here on earth to fulfill.)

Even the best of us—the hugely committed, fiercely determined, big-dreaming, ambitious ones—feel the anxiety and want to flee (to Facebook, to busywork, to food or abstract spiritual work).

Some people believe if you’re feeling resistance, it’s a sign: whatever you’re doing isn’t right for you. And yes, our Essential Selves do throw up big resistance when we’re on the wrong path. (That’s why you drag your heels and show up late for the meeting you didn’t want to go to…)

But, we also resist the big vision in our heart. We can resist taking action on those visions most of all—because failing there would be devastating.

In fact, we need to overcome resistance to do just about everything that’s good for us: whether that’s exercising, putting down the riveting book and going to bed, getting out of comfy lounge clothes to have brunch with a friend, starting a new meditation practice, or talking to that leader who intimidates us. When we go from a “lower” state to a “higher” one, there’s friction to overcome. That’s resistance. It’s natural.

Here’s how to tell whether resistance means you’re off the path—or just facing fear as you walk towards your dreams. Ask yourself: If I knew I would succeed, would I truly, deeply want this? Not just “would it be nice to have this?” or “would this solve the problems I have now,” but would my heart overflow with joy? If I knew I could have it, would I feel weighed down and constricted—or light and free?

 

 

(Wondering what you really want? Apply for a complimentary (1) Income breakthrough session OR (2) Creative breakthrough session!)

Do you REALLY want it?

shutterstock_220006351Deep in your heart, you have a big vision. But something’s in the way, and your vision is still just that—a dream and a hope inside you.

So let’s talk about why your dream is still inside you… instead of real in the world. Here are a few reasons you might recognize:

  • I don’t have enough money
  • I don’t have the right connections
  • I don’t have enough time
  • Now just isn’t a good time

Here’s the thing about these reasons. They aren’t what’s blocking you. They are clues to your next breakthrough.

Let’s take money. Suppose you want $15,000 to launch your business, pay for a training, hold a big event, or take time off to finish your novel. You know this is the next step toward your vision. But you don’t have $15,000.

Here’s what I want you to know: While the number in your bank account is “real,” it isn’t the full reality. The full reality is that for every desire, there is a way. You just haven’t seen the way yet, or you aren’t willing to take the steps.

What if you or someone you love suddenly needed $15,000 for a life-saving medical procedure? What would you do? My guess is, you would get another credit card. Borrow money. Sell your wedding dress or jewelry or car. Cash in an investment. Have a Kickstarter. Hold a fundraising event. Use your retirement account or home equity. Reach out to everyone you know for clients, work, or opportunities. Ask people to pay back money they owe you. Cancel the gym membership you aren’t using. Get another job. Ask for a raise. Get on the phone to generate business and refuse to stop until you had made your money. You would dig deep into your creativity, resourcefulness, and power—and you would find a way. 

Now, listen closely: Those same avenues are available to you now. You just haven’t been willing to use them. You may want more income but haven’t asked your clients for referrals because you’re afraid of seeming crass. You may want to expand your business but won’t borrow money because you don’t want to “be beholden.” You may want an important business training—but won’t cash in an investment because “it’s only supposed to be used for [X].” There are things you haven’t been willing to do.

This is true of money, time, energy, experience, and every other resource out there. If you want it, there is a way.

What you need to know is this: To have a breakthrough, you need to do the thing you’ve been unwilling to do. If you could get the result you want doing what you’re doing now, your dream would be reality (or clearly on its way), wouldn’t it?

So what is the step you’ve been unwilling to take? (This is where your breakthrough is.) Is it turning off the TV early so you can get up an hour earlier to write your novel? Moving past intimidation to talk a leader in your field? Paying for the childcare or administrative support that will let you get your soul’s work done? Getting over your fear of self-promotion so you can grow your business? Raising money for the training that will take you to the next level? Risking rejection or failure to take bold action?

Where is your breakthrough? Explore more here.

Why you aren’t good enough

pic for postIt’s a cliché in the coaching industry to say “you are good enough.” But here’s the truth: maybe you aren’t. What kind of results are your clients getting? How are their lives or businesses changing? Are they moving on because they got so much from you that they don’t need more? Or signing with you again because their results with you were so powerful and life-changing?

If their results are so-so, maybe you need to get more training. Or rethink how your services are structured. Or change the kind, amount, or type of support you’re providing. All these things could be true. (I do not agree with the too-common view in the industry that life experience is enough and you can just set up shop as a “coach,” “guide,” “mentor,” or any other kind of practitioner without some quality training.)

Here’s another possibility: Maybe it’s because you’re not doing what you do best. You’re not working from your brilliance, your creativity, your sacred spark. (Instead, you’re copying what you’ve seen your teachers, mentors, and colleagues do. You’re being cookie-cutter, like almost everyone else in your field.) Maybe you don’t know what you do best—or how to talk about it so clients are inspired to buy.

Not doing what you do best can cause bigger problems: If you aren’t doing what you do best, your clients can’t do their best. Even worse, you’re most likely attracting the wrong clients. You see, your ideal clients want what you do best. So if you’re delivering a watered-down, worse version of someone else’s brilliance, the people who are attracted to that won’t be your ideal clients. They won’t fully resonate with you—or take in all your wisdom—or get life-changing, business-changing results with you.

However, once you understand what you do best (and how to talk about it), you can attract the right clients. Make more money. Do so much more for your clients. You can give the world what only you have—and do what you were always meant to do.

  

Love note: Even though you may not be “good enough,” you are enough. You are valuable and sacred and worthy of love exactly as you are. Because your worth is not dependent on what you do or how well you do it. Your worth comes from being you, alive and unique, passionate and flawed and scarred and wise. Your worth comes from your beating, loving heart. Your worth comes from you, and from the Divine. Because you are part of the Divine.

Where are you not doing what you do best? Explore more here.

Straight from the heart: why are you here?

Straight from the heart: Words from my heart to yours–to help you get on your  shutterstock_323189894
path, stay on it, and fulfill it with joy!

You are on this earth to do something. Something meant only for you.

Are you doing it? 

(Here’s one clue: You love it. It feels like play. You could do it for hours, for no pay at all (though you love money too).)

If this isn’t your life, what will you do TODAY to make a change?

 

Play for your life

shutterstock_159878801I didn’t have fun for five years.

In my early 30s, I was building a writing and editing business, doggedly pushing myself to write fiction, and determined to build a real estate business that would eventually support me with passive income.

These were serious goals, and I was prepared to dedicate all my energy to making them happen. Added to that, I was involved with a man who did not believe in leisure time. He wouldn’t go take a day to go to the beach—or a weekend to go to a bed-and-breakfast—but he would fly across the country for transformational retreats for self-growth and real estate cruises where we spent hours in conference rooms learning from assorted gurus.

I didn’t mind. I was ready to put aside “childish” fun and do the adult work of making my dreams come true. (Yes, I did go out with friends… and yes, there was some fun in all my growth and work. But did I make play a priority? Did I make time for fill-me-with-delight, nothing-else-but-fun fun? No. I had more important things to do.)

When the relationship ended after five years, it was winter. Through the dark days, I worked long hours for a client, redid my apartment, and read books on how to recover from a break-up—working obsessively to heal and move on.

Then, one day, in January, I noticed a meetup for Harry Potter fans: “Ice Skating in Bryant Park: Put on your best themed fineries or character costume, wrap that striped scarf around your neck, and join us at The Pond!” Somehow, that appealed. Quirky. Fun. And if I didn’t like the people, I never had to see them again.

But, I did like them. I liked their friendly, down-to-earth personalities, and I liked that they were smart and unafraid to have fun.

Over the weeks and months, we followed a screening of Sweeney Todd with an excursion to a Lower East Side meat pie shop. Commemorated Harry’s disastrous Valentine’s Day date by taking high tea in elegant dress. Played Quidditch, sliding through mud and tackling each other to catch the Golden Snitch.

As winter turned to spring and then summer, as we went from knitting Gryffindor hats to putting on cloche hats for a Jazz Age picnic on Governor’s Island, my joy expanded and expanded. I was dizzingly, delightfully, spin-in-circles in love with my life.

At the same time, I grieved. I had given up so much. For five years, I had pushed fun aside and looked down at it. And because of that, because of all the play and joy I had cut out, I had lost five years of life.

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